The weekend....is over :(

So,

Friday after work I just sat around my house for a while. I then went out with Ash for a little while, just browsing at the mall. I didn't find anything necessary to buy though. It's cool.

Saturday I had an NCE study session that reviewed stats/appraisal/program evaluation. I am so glad it's over and I'm not looking forward to the test at all. Then I went to South Side works to kill some time until Mona was finished with her conference and until I met Megz, Kait, and Opie. So, I'm roaming around S.Side works. Happened to walk into Urban Outfitters. It was the first time I was there, and let me tell you. I spent an assload (24.00-it wasn't worth it) on a thin crocheted hat, that my hair is not long enough to put in. Oh well, the hat was a pretty teal color so I bought it anyway. I think I can maybe pull it off. I also wandered into a really cool book while I was there at Urban Outfitters. It's an adult book, that's for women, but it's a blast from the past when I was about 12 years old. As you read the book you get to choose your own ending; for example, the book will say at the end of the chapter; "if you graduate from high school and go to college-go to page 25, if you graduate from high school and travel the country-go to page 29."
So, the time came to meet Mona, Megz, Kait, and Opie. These ladies are all college buddies I had and we all consider each other friends, even though we don't see each other often at all. At some point life got in the way and we lost contact. We've decided to get our shit together and really make plans to hang out. We went to The Cheesecake Factory. I'm pretty sure all the ladies appreciated that place to eat...simply because of the dessert. We're all suckers for dessert.
We all had a blast, remembering fun times in college, and catching up on each of our lives. I really hope to meet up with the ladies again really soon. It was time to go home but Mona and I stopped by the Beehive for a Iced Chai Tea. The Beehive was totally our hangout, like everynight, so it was refreshing to be in somewhere familiar, but really disappointing that the people behind the counter and the "regulars" changed. I guess all things change in life...I'm just not that good with change. I miss the college years. I miss hanging out with good friends, not having major responsibilities, and having time to roam around the streets of South Side or any other quaint neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Life's not that bad now though...and what's important is that I remember all those memories from college and can look back on them fondly. That makes me smile.

So, because I was really looking forward to Saturday, Sunday was uneventful but relaxing. I woke up, went to church, and changed my side marker lights and brake light. It's kinda funny because the brake light was out for a month. However, the side marker light I believe was out for over a year. I thought they were simply reflectors! After reading in the manual how to fix the brake light, did I realize that they infact were not reflectors but lights...So I changed them while I was at it anyway.

I was proud that I changed the lights myself. Usually you'll go somewhere and some guy will pop them in for you at a ridiculously large cost....because you're a woman. I usually ask my Dad for help, but he was at work, and honestly...I wanted to get some experience for myself on some simple car maintenence. And boy, do I feel proud! I told my Dad when he came home from work and it touched me when he said; "That's good Tara, it's because you're my daughter, and I taught you how to do simple car stuff and helped you understand mechanical engineering at a smaller scale!" First of all, my dad is crazy. Second of all, he's right...when he said it, it wasn't in a cocky way, but a way that made me feel good that I do have my Dad. He's a good Dad. He works hard for his family. He never HAD to teach me anything. The fact that he takes the time to teach me things I could benefit from and even things I will have no use for the knowledge...really makes me appreciate the effort my Dad makes for his family. He's a special guy. I love him alot.
The rest of Sunday I just sat around. It was awesome.

Now it's Monday morning...and I have to get ready for work :(
Hope you have a good day.

Attempts at cleaning my room.

It's a saturday night and yes, I am attempting to clean my room.
I'm real nervous about school. I have so many pending "things".

For instance, I still have an independent study research project that has not yet been approved by the IRB. I don't forsee this being a HUGE problem. But...I'm supposed to have my data collected, statistically analyzed, and the thesis completed by April 18th-ish. Um....April's like two seconds away!

The only class I have this semester is a Seminar for my Internship...well...this is Pass or Fail. I do believe I'll pass with no problems. However, I still have a presentation and a pretty big paper/presentation that I have not started yet. That's due April 22nd.

This does not have anything to do with graduation...but...it's still a big stress. The NCE (National certified Counselors Exam) is on April 10th. I have not started to study for that yet. However, I will be attending an informational study session about that next Saturday. I'm sure that'll be fine...If I do fail the first time... I can always take it again...it won't hold me back from graduation but it will hold me back from getting more credentials and letters after my name...such as the NCC (Nationally Certified Counselor). How sweet would that be? Either way...it'll work out how it's supposed to work out.

All in all...I have signed my Audit and printed my awesomely long name how I want it to appear on my $35,000 paper...er...graduate degree. So I know I'm taken care of in that aspect.
However, I have yet to receive an email about "upcoming May 9th graduates...information you NEED to know". Not sure when and how to order/pick up my cap and gown....oh my God, my cape will be awesome this year! I'm wearing that bitch everywhere after I graduate.

I'm pretty sure I'm just making myself more anxious and nervous with everything that's still pending and hanging over my head. I'm sure everything is working out the way it is supposed to right now. It's just...I've never been this anxious about graduation before.
It's been a LONG hardworking few years in Graduate school...it has been worth it...but I'll be relieved when it's over. I'm holding my breath until I actually have my degree in my two hands.

I just have this horrible anxious feeling of impending doom...that things won't work out...at the last minute. I can almost see the disaster. I think it's normal though...if I went to see a therapist now...I might be diagnosed with "Panic Disorder NOS" because of an external, anxiety producing, perceived threat.

I will be fine.
Deep Breaths.

New employee trainings.

So, I have been at my new job since Oct. 23rd but I still have some "new hire trainings" that need to be done. It's kinda funny some of the trainings I have to attend because technically I am in the healthcare field. For instance, people working at PNC Bank will more than likely never have a customer approach the teller window and ask questions about HIV or AIDS transmission/testing/and treatment. However, now that I am a therapist for high risk individuals, I have to be enlightened on the subject matter.

So, I went to the training yesterday....ALL DAY. Ummmm...it was from 9-4 and the information we received was given to us all day redundently. I bet we only learned 12 things total that were repeated 87 different ways. The trainer said it was a 12 hour training squashed into a 6 hour training. I don't believe that...I believe it could have been a 3 hour training that they decided to stretch into a 6 hour training.

We had a group discussion type project where we had to order individuals from low - high risk (starting low risk at the left hand side of the room leading to the high risk at the right side of the room).
Some of the people were:
~7 year old hemophiliac receives blood transfusions regularly.
~16 year old just broke up with her first boyfriend.
~35 year old married for nine years.
~26 years old heroin user shoots daily.
~40 year old homosexual.

Pretty much everyone in the training room was attempting to place these people in categories based on judgments in their own head. Everyone was arguing back and forth about "but you don't know if they are sexually active, sharing needles, blah blah blah blah blah". Listening to this made me immediately irritated and angry at the idiocy, judgmentalism, assumptions, and jumping to conclusions nature of some of my fellow trainees.

I raised my hand, made my point about assumptions based on situations that could all be unique because of us all being opinionated individuals and by putting people in little boxes so we can "put them in their place" will not help them to get education on HIV/AIDS transmission/testing/treatment. I stressed the fact that we do not know all of these "unknown and possibly risky behaviors" that are factual to determine their level of risk for HIV/AIDS. This reason is why education and having detailed and specific conversations with the client to help them determine their own level of risk. Apparently it was the right answer for the trainer. She quickly made her point at how usually the training groups would sit there for 20 minutes trying to place these people based on no knowledge of their low or high risk behaviors. Since it only took us about 5 minutes to get to the point I made and have the trainer discuss the reasoning so others can understand...thanks to me, we got to leave 15 minutes early....wow, 15 minutes I spent stuck on the Sewickley bridge in traffic anyway. HA!

Needless to say, by the time I got home...I was ready for a nap and relaxing because we all know that I can't transistion to being at my house with my family members if I am already irritated and angry at the world. It just won't work...it'll just be fuel to feed the fire.

I would like to leave you with this information I DID learn from the training that freaked me out so much so that I will be using my debit card for all of my purchased....forever.

98% of all of our currency bills have traces of cocaine and other drugs on them.
89% of these cocaine and other drug infested bills of currency have HIV or AIDS antibodies on them.
Transmission of HIV/AIDS from money is .5%.
But EWWWWWW, that's gross and think of how many other diseases are on the money and how sometimes you see people put bills in their mouth if their hands are full!!!!!!! Disgusting.

That was my Friday...uneventful and irritating.